its here you really understand the meaning of being alone. not particularly loneliness, cos i know everytime i feel lonely or upset, i've got someone to call. but just being a lone island among the many many islands.

sitting in e library, looking at the huge circular staircase. and all e ppl around me. i'm part awed, and part frightened by the incredible no of ppl in lse, in london.

being in uni, its become ok, and normal to go anywhere alone. to go off to e library by myself, to walk home alone. you can no longer hope to have companionship in whatever you do, cos the immense amount of things everyone has to do, results in everyone having to think only for themselves, and when time permits, for other ppl. its no longer a case of selfishness or not, but rather self-survival.

its a rather scary notion i've come to terms with. how i'm now perfectly fine just sitting here. surrounded by so many strangers. and not seeing a familiar face. its part refreshing, part terrifying

i feel like i'm being forced to grow up. feels like the ppl here don't tolerate being a kid. the simple pleasures seem long forgotten. hah.

but i must say that being a kid, or rather not being an adult, is very very different from being childish.

some whom seem so adult-like, are actually the most childish of all.

i refuse to be a grown-up, i want to keep that child-like quality in me always. like what screw always talk abt.

i want to be away from all this.

i need the comfort of home. if only for a few weeks.

nothing beats a simple four leaf clover

thank you.

words can't express how i feel right now

first, i must say that marcus, yangqi, kenny, ashraf & hongmin are absolutely wonderful and e best (((: haha. they planned, cooked, prepared & schemed to give me a 'surprise' birthday party. hahaha. like even though marcus is always so busy, he took e time out to organise it (: though it wasn't much of a surprise :p ahahaha. koteks (dunno how e hell u spell this) all of em. grins. yangqi & kenny even cooked larh ((: haha, i was very impressed. ashraf spent e whole day scheming to get me to believe his funny story.. and hong min spent yesterday shopping with meee :D

this is prob e first time i've done so much in my birthday. normally it falls on in e exam period, so i can't do much. but today i went for lunch & shopping with nicole & angela, then london dungeons (where i met ella - nygh tramper), damn small world. and had two bday surprises! ayla & angela were absolutely lovely & came up to give me 4 eclairs with like candles in themm :D then e whole bunch of sporeans came banging on my door & sung me happy birthday with e cake outside my room :D hehehee. they're e best bunch of ppl i could be in london with. seriously. they're just like my family. haha. then tong, lynn, celine & huiying rushed back from diff parts of e uk to come to holborn at like 9+ onwards to wish me happy birthday somemore. super super touched (((:

angela & ayla (((:

my GORGEOUS birthday cake from marcus, ashraf & sanjiv (:

the feast they cooked up (actually only two dishes were cooked by them :p)

my makeshift birthday candles (((: i love hongmin! haha.

surprise party! at holborn :D

it was a wonderful wonderful birthday i had this year (((: i was so afraid that i'd spend it sad & alone, and with not much of a celebration, but it was probably my most exciting & full birthday ever. heh.

i think e lse sporeans are love. but there are also ppl like angela, charlotte, ayla and many many others that have totally brightened up my life here (: muacks to all of you.

to my darlings back home & in e us. thank you for everything, be it e cards, phonecalls, smses & facebook posts (((: you'll always be in my heart and in my thoughts.

19th was a wonderful happy one.

happy birthday to me!!! :D

big muacks to all those who have wished me happy bday. i love you guys (((:

junwee was so bloody sweet & sent me the most 'awwww' card ever. hahaha. made me very very touched (: hahaha.

i've got 25 hours of my bday this yr!!! cos of daylight saving. woohoo. this is bloody cool.

i love you mingkiepoo! forever & always!

more when e day is actually over (: it just started.

but i must say, the boys here, esp marcus, ashraf, yangqi & kenny are the best (:

roses from yet came this morning (: they're beautiful! 19 huge pink roses. heeee ((((:

closeup!

this is shimoni (: my floormate two doors down & she just rocks my world i tell you. we have e funniest late night conversations. hehehee.

omg 0_o the amount of money i spend on food & groceries is MADNESS. i don't eat out very often. and i don't eat alot normally, but when i do eat out i spend like what, easily 15 20 pounds on food -.- this is disgusting. and its been like what, the 4th day in this week i've been grocery shopping. it was sainsbury on sun & tues, marks & spencer yest, and then the jap/korean supermarket today. 40 pounds in today's supermarket. BUT I LOVE THAT PLACE I TELL YOUUUU :DDD (y) to tong for telling me, super hard to find, but oh so goooodddd.

they had my teriyaki sauce, korean beanpaste, korean sesame oil, soba noodles & sauce, jap sesame salad sauce, jap rice (2.5 kg ok), POCKY (which just reminds me so much of mel & suefaye), wang wang & my jap NAI CHA & green tea!(((((: i was so damn happy in e shop. angela was so amused. haha. how i miss my isetan supermarket. pouts.

its absolutely ridiculous e amount of food i buy. i just buy & make myself happy but never eat them. they're just piling up on my food shelf & in my kitchen. soon my food is gonna reach e ceiling -.- this is madness i tell you. i can feed an army alr

i adore angela (((((: she's e best! haha, she walked me for an hour looking for e place. she's been an absolute darling & life-saviour. hehehee. we've got e same personal tutor, same class, same lectures. wheee. hehe, plus she lives in holborn too!

all my lovely lovely food (:

my ridiculous food shelf & e immense no of books i have for law -.-

my sauce cupboard in e kitchen.

my upper cupboard in e kitchen.. see my adorable rice cooker? hehee.

: one headlight :: the wallflowers :

i'm listening to 987 fm now (: ahaha, its lovely lovely lovely.

how funny it is that you start missing or craving e smallest/weirdest/most insignificant things. hahahaha.

hmms, i'm NEVER eating anything else from macs again other than their fries & icecream. their nuggets were gross larh :p i still like spore macs more. (y) hehehe. i've lost 3 kggg! this totally rocks man. i think its from e immense amount of walking i do a day. i see it nothing to spend at least half an hour a day walking -.- though actually there isn't much walking to do from holborn to sch, but like when i go oxford circus, bond st or regent st shopping. i'll just walk straight home. takes me abt 15, 20 min? then from covent garden or chinatown also.

heh. i'm starting to feel abit more upbeat abt my birthday. but e first-week-of-sch syndrome is so getting to me. i'm bloody tired la. its ridiculous. sighs. i'm supposed to be doing my reading now -.- for ils (intro to legal system), but i keep getting distracted -.- but gd distractions all of em.

highlight of e day : being able to fit into gap kids :D age 13 leh. omg, this opens a whole new world of shopping possibilities. MEHEHEHEHE!

i love my mingkie-poo mucho mucho mucho (: you're the brightest star in my sky!

: calendar girl :: stars :

this song just reminds me so much of interdependent.. i rmb how i used to comfort myself with his green ipod.

seeing 'scry', just makes me feel so far away. technically i am. the absence of the 4 of you in my lives is immense. so many things i say nowadays have to be accompanied by explanations, backed up with history. starting afresh is tiring sometimes. i'm trying not to let the missing get me down. not the week before my birthday. my birthday has always been my special day (: whether or not ppl think it is, or make it so, to me, it is my day. as self-absorbed as it sounds. haha.

back home, i'd be bouncing with excitement in e week before my birthday. i'd be awaiting my family birthday dinner. planning my bday party with ppl. this yr, i'm taking a step back. i haven't even really thought of what i wanted. normally i'd have thought of this waaaay in advance, and put up my wishlist alr. but then again, most of e ppl reading this are far far away, and i doubt my wishlist would be of much use anyway :p a email/sms/letter will do..

i stare at the photos of people on my wall. day and night. i wonder if i'll go a full circle. and go back to where i was 5 years ago. after all i've seen here, all i want is the comfort you bring me. the warmth and security. i wonder if i asked again this time, will the answer be yes. the irony of it all.

i can't wait to head up to nottingham to see angie (: she's the only real comfort from home i have here.

: shan hu hai :: jay chou :

i've just learnt like a few british slang :p which i think i should introduce to everyone. ahahaha. its quite funny.

swotting = mugging
having everyone's number = know about everyone
fit = good looking

this is bloody hilarious really. alex, jess & angela were teaching me today. haha. very very funny. but anyway i totally adore my law class (10). hehh. very interactive plus fun ((((:

anyway, addie came down e other day.. she stayed in my room, which was quite hilarious (: but very fun to catch up. brought her to crush. which was rather hmmmm. hahaha.

aeh cass :p just cos i only put pictures of me out at night, doesn't mean i club all e time ok. haha.

anyway, a lovely lovely package came for me e other day, from my parents. 10 bloody kg. it had like miso soup, jap instant mee, my tatty teddy from home, brunch bars, pi pa gao, ALOT of strepsils, bday cards & letters, jap salad sauce, kitchen towels (-.-), oven mitts, pan holder, dried shrimps, dried mushrooms, files, ladle, cooking utensils, chi medicine & e most random things. hahaha. but i was so happy i was bawling all over my floor -.-

vanessa, nicole, addie & i. crush!

my soy sauce chicken (((: it was mucho yummy. fed like 10 ppl. haha, i cooked 18 drumsticks ok -.- drumsticks here are super cheap cos angmohs dunno how to eat drumsticks. they only know how to eat chicken breasts which are ewww. i like my drumsticks (y)

kenny, chor ming (mr pres), yangqi (mr secretary) & marcus..

hongmin & i (: act cute larh.

hahaha. okkk. i'm off to watch my man u matchhh :DDD not at old trafford. at e pub nearby. then i got loads of criminal law, public law & ils to read. this is saddddddddd.

ooh i'm losing weight ((((: my tight jeans are loose now. ahaha.

according to kenny, 5 more weeks till we head homeeee! i can't wait. i miss my screw so much. not that i'm not loving london. but its just nice to go home (:

: the great escape :: boys like girls :

called ming today (: left me in this warm fuzzy happy place. i can't believe how much i've missed the funny little noises she always makes. i miss my mingkie poo dearly ):

sometimes, nothing can quite compare to rgs girls. they make everything fit properly. haha.

today was spent rolling around in bed (((:

the thing is right, no matter how much i whine/moan/bitch/wail about loneliness. at the end of the day, i'm perfectly fine being alone. it can be boring sometimes, but there's nothing quite like walking by yourself, lost in your own thoughts (:

spent 3 hours walking around chinatown and covent garden today ((((: i got my chai sim finally. i cannot explain how much i've missed chai sim i tell you. then walking into chinese supermarkets give me these bursts of joy i tell you. finding jap mayo :D seeing stefanie sun on a drinks bottle. hichew! bought all the things i need. hehh. happy happy. then went to marks & spencers to buy my snacks & food (: love love. marks & spencers rock my world i tell you. plus my dad loves m&s, and doesn't want me to cook, so i can happily buy m&s stuff on his card. ehehehe.

listening to zhuan shu tian shi makes me just all fuzzy fuzzy happy (: it reminds me of terence though, cos that boy kept singing it last time. haha. my friend can get wu zun's signature!!! mehehehe. i miss my chinese tv. i want hana kimi 2!!! pouts. so many tw dramas coming out.

the smoking culture here is horrible i tell you. i'm so affected by the smoke that i had to go see the doctor to get a ventilator puff thingy cos i was so afraid i was going to get an asthma attack after 16 yrs of no asthma. bloody hell. my chest hurts just from breathing. its a horrible feeling. groans.

ok, i'm tired. the effects of the first week of sch in 10 months is so getting to me. plus there's a whole ass load of reading to do. off to nap nap (:

oh yes, for my birthday this year, all i want is a letter or parcel from all my darlings in spore and us (: i miss you all monkey loads. that would be the best present!

: zhuan shu tian shi :: tank :

i'm not trying to be mean or smthing, but DAMNIT SINGAPORE IS NOT PART OF CHINA & ENGLISH IS OUR BLOODY FIRST LANGUAGE -.- the no of times i have had ppl telling me WOW your english is so fluent, is driving me insane.
i'm starting to sound like angela cos i'm with her like everyday :p nicole, angela & i have like the same timetables. haha.

HEYYY KAIIIIII (: how are you darling. i miss you too!

MEHEHEHEHE. lemme announce: i'm vice president of the singapore society. hahaha. the absolute irony of it all. but whatever, i'm happy. i'm also publicty officer for dance ((((: and i went to ulu (uni of london union) for ballroom lessons today. got so screwed over by ballroom -.- but it was so bloody good to do e chacha again. latin ballroom is love i tell you. but my feet are hurting so bloody badly now. ooh, but e best thing was i saw KAT :D plus a whole bunch of other ucl sporeans. heh. not bad not bad. met a sc dancer too! i like dancers :D goldfish she knows you! sophia (:

i love my weds thurs & fri (: 4 hours of school for 3 days. mehehehe. two hours on thurs. then after which i'm going knightsbridgeeee! whoopee. harrods & harvey nichols. grins. i'm looking for my new wallet. then its chinatown on fri for some good chinese loving. yum yum. my stomach agrees (((:

uni is good for me man. i'm losing weight!!! yayyy. but i think partly cos i'm stressed out also. alot of reading to do. ROARS.

went for lse fresher's ball last night. dressed up all prettily and stuff (: but e event was quiteee shit larh. expected better. so left after awhile. bloody 15 quid lah. grumbles.

anyway, pictures (: while i was still in a better mood..

alex, angela, jess & i (: CLASSMATES. they're e best. haha.

shib, natasha (her roomie) & i. cute cute eh (:

mella (my floormate) & alisha (my lawmate)

natalia :D this girl is (y) haha. her singlish is bloody hilarious. plus we're both wearing yellow dresses!

nic (:

finella! she's like a doll (:

joyceee! finally one with a smile larh :p

kasha. ok her real name is Katarzyna, but everyone calls her kasha :p

nicole!

henry (: a lovely malaysian singaporean!

raj (:


tanya!

angela darling (:

nara, korean boy (:

nicole, me, nee, dawn & julie (malaysian soc pres!)

ashraffff (:

karen!! she stays just down e hall from me (: she, shimoni & i always stone around e corridoors talking nonsense :p hehhee.

justin! my law mate (: plus karen's bf. haha.

ok, alot of photos alr. more will come! there's knightsbridge tmr, chinatown on fri, plus addie's coming down from leeds & i'm bringing her for traffic light crush. then portobello & borough markets on sat. whoopee. life is looking brighter (:

nothing can quite compare walking to school in e morning in the crisp cold air (:

eating tortellini in my room now (: yum yumm.

had four hours of lectures today. and technically i should be feeling deadbeat. but i'm quite ok (: PLUS I DIDN'T SLEEP IN A SINGLE LECTURE AT ALL! i took like 5 pages of notes. whahahaha. i am wan jun the good mugger ((((: but i think cos its law la. and for e first time i'm really enjoying lessons. it totally rocks. well public law leaves me 0_o at times, and intro to legal system was -.- but it was all good. heh. i even went to e library for 3 hours to read my legal system book. mehehehe.

sorry for gloating. i very seldom am so hardworking :p

lalalalala.

: blind :: lifehouse :

my mood is swinging very haphazardly from one extreme to the other.

when i think about my 16th surprise party. that screw organised for me, with yee ler. the hawker food. his horribly dyed hair. poker cards. tiramisu.

how i wish i could have all of that again for my 19th.

godddd i'm so bloody tired -.- london actually today was killer shit. i walked from lse to st paul to bankside, to covent garden, to holborn, to british museum, to brunswick, to regent park. omg. it has got to be at least 3 km. but at least i've been losing weight :p AHAHAHAHA. fresher's five eat shit & die!

yangqi and i were talking about how lovely singlish is just now (: you don't fully appreciate its value till you're overseas. haha. okk. pictures! i realise i've been abit slow on my upload of pictures. so BEWARE. huge pictures upload :p

the one missing picture from spitafields last week (: WHOOPEE! that's joyce, hong min & i btw.

my first salsa night! which was not badddd (: ashley me nicole!

savoy cabbage -.- i tell you, it looks & feels like fake wax vegetables.

the final product (: YUMMY! i tell you ah, e best thing about london groceries is that they always have fresh peeled shrimps. I LOVE IT!

charlotte a tad bit high after half a bottle of wine each eh :D

ULTIMATE COMFORT FOOD (: my special recipe. so good i tell you..

the lse bar - 3 tuns (: before crush!

JEN (: she's adorable!

blogger refuses to listen & rotate my pictures. but anyway, it says 'please don't eat foam' at foam crush which we thought was bloody hilarious.

charlotte ayla & i. when we were still nice & dry (:

FOAM CRUSH :D

ayla, char, me, nicole & tanya (:

dawn, nee & i all WET! i ruined my top ):

post crush :p the laundry hung out in my room :p its like a obstacle course. ahahaha.

anyway, then i slept at like 5 am, woke up at 9. appeared in sch at 10 for london actually. which was like amazing race london kinda thing. OH BUT WE WON FIRST PLACE :D CHOR MING, PAT, TAG & I! WOOHOO!

crossing e millenium bridge (:


PAT! & my sunnies. hehe.

chor ming! partner!

lovely autumn leaves in regent park (:

GUAN SIN (:

raj tagged along today (:

team no 1 (:

sing soc picnic at regent park (:

yangqi (: who's been an absolute lifesaver!

tag in his adorable man u cap! hehe.

and my new pin up wall (: plus flowers i bought today :D pretty pretty? MING CAN YOU SEE YOUR LETTER!

shopping with shib tmr :D :D :D can't absolutely wait!

: je ne veux pas travailler :: pink martini :